I have GOT to get the fuck out of here.

I love how people bitch about the lameness of Twitter but get defensive when Facebook or Myspace is criticized.

News flash, fuckers: THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.

May I present a chart?

Randomized Album Art Experiment

To do this:

1 - Go to "Wikipedia." Hit “Random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random Quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Photoshop it all together. (Or, if you don't have Photoshop, Picasa it all together.)

5 - Post it with these instructions as the caption, and tag all the people you want to try it, or would like to share it with.

Do it!

I want to get savagely drunk and have hot sex with a random stranger.

But only if the random stranger is Gerard Butler.

Merry Christmas.

Oh yeah.

Show details later.

Taken by Mark Prinz of Muted Photos; mutedphotos@gmail.com.

FUCK. YEAH.

For some reason I'm craving Jell-O, and surprisingly NOT shooters.

I wrote a new song this afternoon. It's about a defensive drug addict titled "Hard Hit."

Today I wore a summery, flowery, femininy dress with black boots. The ensemble was very River Tam-ish. I felt like kicking someone's ass; too bad I was at the mall instead of a dive bar. Though the way people act nowadays when it comes to shopping after Thanksgiving, I should always be prepared.

Is anyone else appalled at the "massive bow" trend? I hate bows. Why? Because I am not eight. Okay, most aren't that bad. But anyone who wears this and whines about not ever having a date needs to be punched in the temple.

Fuck bows.

Starting today, I'm taking a temporary vow of celibacy.

Six months. Baby steps. That puts me at May 30. I can do it. I get a bad case of spring fever, but since I know I can make it through the winter, maybe I won't be so hard up when the earth starts puking daisies.

I thought perhaps I should have started this after my band's show at the Norva, but if I don't do it now, I never will.

I was also thinking about shaving my head again, doing a mohawk this time, but that might be too much at once.

It's not me. It's every-fucking-one else.

So it goes.

Ever hear a song on the radio that happens to come on at the right moment? "I Saw the Light" by Todd Rundgren played a couple of mornings ago right before I pulled into work. It a song that makes me swoon.

I don't swoon.

When I looked it up, I had no idea the song is an homage to Carole King (my personal hero and savior). Not only does Rundgren's voice imitate hers, he also plays all of the instruments. Amazing.

Though we had our fling
I just never would suspect a thing
til that little bell began to ring in my head
in my head
But I tried to run,
though I knew it wouldnt help me none
Cause I couldnt ever love no one, or so I said
But my feelings for you
Were just something I never knew
til I saw the light in your eyes

I need a stroke of musical inspiration. They say "write what you know."

I don't know anything!

"Christians never have a campaign against humanists and atheists ... we're the tolerant ones."

See the video here.

DISCUSS!

Taken from selenityk

1. What are your nicknames?
Flo is the only one that matters.

2. How do you style your hair?
I roll down the car windows and give wind a purpose.

3. What's new in your life right now?
Light fame.

4. How many colors are you wearing now?
Two.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
I'm an ambivert. I can handle big crowds and parties, but I don't particularly thrive on it or actively seek it. I have a small group of close friends and value alone time. I'm a misanthropist, but I still know how to function in society for civility's sake.

6. What was the last book you read?
"And the Beat Goes On" by Michael Campbell. It was the textbook for one of my music history classes, but we never actually read it since we were too busy, er, listening to music.

7. Do you nap a lot?
I used to, when I didn't have two jobs and a band. I can sleep the fuck out of a day.

8. If the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do?
Absolutely nothing, though penis size and length of time it takes me to get over someone do correlate.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Oh, I don't even know where to start. Getting my purse stolen from my car was really quite spectacular.

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Whipped cream off a homemade iced caramel macchiato.

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
About 30 minutes. Sleep is so much more important to me than looking good for people I don't like.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Gmail, various news sites, LJ, Myspace, Facebook, Woot, ESPN.

13. What classes are you taking right now? If you're not in school anymore, what's your job?
Performing monkey, graphic designer, real estate marketing.

14. Do you like to clean?
Absolutely not.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Stay With Me" by Faces.

16. What's the last movie you saw?
Hot Rod. Seriously.

17. What's better: eternal love or memorable love?
This question is too stupid for me to bother answering.

18. What would you do if you see $100 lying on the ground?
Probably buy all the homeless people on the street a hot meal or new shoes. If it were a smaller denomination, I wouldn't feel as guilty about finding so much money and probably blow it on myself.

19. Best time of your life?
Still has yet to come.

20. Tell me something good.
Female hyenas have penises.

Wanna know how to make the front page of Faux News dot com?

Ask people why they should believe in a god.

My sister is behind this campaign. Though for totally different reasons, we're both going to be famous.

Keith Olbermann on Proposition 8:

I think tie-dye is going to make a comeback.

Staged photos make me ill. The ones you see in tacky gilded frames on those rolling kiosks at the mall. A group of people sitting on a beach all wearing white shirts and khakis. An infant on a strategically draped sheet on something ridiculous like a planter. Two people looking longingly at each other on a grand staircase.

FUCKING KILL ME.

1. Everyone in the family hates each other. There's always the son who brings his girlfriend, which pisses off everyone else because they're going to break up in about two weeks and the picture will be forever ruined, but they don't want to take another one because that's more time they have to endure each other.
2. Anne Geddes wannabes, I'm looking at you. The phrase, "I know a baby who'd look great in that" should be in regards to clothing, not bowls and vases.
3. You know she's the only one who gives a shit about getting a picture taken. She's thinking, "I will love and cherish this man forever." He's thinking, "I wish I had the balls to tell you I only dated you to get closer to your sister."

Someone stole my bag out of my car today.

I wrote about it.

At the least, vote me for Best of Craigslist.

It annoys me that all of Michelle Obama's media attention is focused on her fashion sense.

She graduated from both Princeton and Harvard Law. She's made a shit ton of money working for a huge law firm and the University of Chicago. With the exception of book revenue, she often commanded a higher salary than her husband, whose name just escapes me. She's classy, well-spoken, and smart as hell. We need to stop concentrating on her body and more on her mind.

With that said, girl's got style.

It's funny how all the silly Bible-thumping gun-wielding conservatives who want to move somewhere else in the world don't appreciate the irony of a silly Bible-thumping gun-wielding conservative somewhere else in the world.

Go. America's socialist now anyway, right?

I'm so glad I got the opportunity to see Obama in person at a rally in Norfolk, because my chances of seeing him now are practically nonexistent.

I'm going to be celebrating all week and hopefully spending this weekend celebrating still in Richmond.

America, FUCK YEAH.

"For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that 'We Shall Overcome.' Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can."